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Effect Of Divorce On Children - What Exactly Young Children Feel Under Such Events
The effect of divorce on children is a tragic one indeed. Divorce is an undesirable visitor in happy families and homes, and the only time it rears its nasty head (or the mention thereof) is when husband and wife drift further and further away from each other without proper interaction. Very often, cheating is the reason why husbands and wives go their separate ways, however other factors like finances, suspicion, mistrust, and deceptive marriages from the outset cause husbands and wives to breakup. Finances could be a reason: very often, husbands and wives are young newlyweds who hardly have enough money to pay off the bills and are barely getting by. University and Grad School debt could be responsible for a divorce, as one partner takes two jobs to cover their loans and their spouse's loans.
Kids are often upset when their parents divorce. They do not understand why the break up happened (which confuses them), and they are troubled that they could do little about it. They experience sorrow and mourn the fact that their parents' relationship has come to nothing. They are distressed because they have an intuitive sense that life from that time forward will be "different around the house," though they cannot comprehend all that this concept entails. They are aggressive, and they carry that out on just about anyone they can. Kids quite often turn out to be bullies as a result of divorce and try to put down and degrade younger children or same-age kids who are helpless by all appearances. For kids who are divorce victims, the goal is to make other people feel their distress.
Children very often experience interpersonal conflict. They could be at war within themselves and do not know how to develop a healthy self-worth. At one moment, they like who they are; the next, they have no clue who they are or hate themselves completely. Many of them want to alter their names, their families, or get away from the city they live in so that they can avoid the disgrace of being a divorce child. They generally feel embarrassed about their identity and would prefer not to hang around their old friends (social adjustment problems). They do not want their parents' break up to be constantly brought before them to know how does divorce affect children.
Poor academic achievement is yet another short-term effect of divorce on kids. Generally, youngsters who have performed well tend to let their scores slump considerably when dealing with a divorce. Education, once important to them, becomes unimportant when they must choose to handle both 1) their feelings and grief over the divorce or 2) their education. The symptoms of divorce children are much like symptoms experienced in depression patients over a long-term period.
The long-term impact of divorce or separation on children includes repression of the distressing event until it surfaces in later life. Children usually undergo "the sleeper effect," where they pretend nothing ever took place or act as if they were not affected by the event. In the future, however, the feelings come back in the forms of emotional sorrow and mental anguish with divorce and children.
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